Herald’s and Del’s Cosmetic Issue
Paul Gauguin, The Spirit of the Dead Keeps Watch, 1892, oil on hessian mounted on canvas, Albright-Knox Art Gallery
Ah ain no pinch penny, even genrous tuh fault,
but Del credick card bill liss thirty-eigh bucks
fuh . . . whuh? She marchin room tuh room voidin
mah eyes. Rifflin en clangin stuff ain no cawse tuh liff.
Ah go mum. But mah uppuh stomick steady garglin.
Hour latuh, proach it sideways. “Pahdon chickadee,
but ahm stump whuh could be face fixtive purpose?”
“Makeup spray so all day won’t smer nuh run.
Wimmen gah tuh look presenable. Evry mornin
lee dis house doan whan no flies own me.”
Ah smahl en wink. “You always fine tuh me babe.
But we behine in cah notes, Dibble seed en fertlizuh,
roof leaks. En jess two bags grocery kin fetch . . .”
She flip. “Herl you always fuse unnuhstan good
cosmetic spensive. Preven bumps en blotches.
Even brain cainsuh. High maintnance name uh health
nevuh bin no sin. Nothuh thing. Doan be revvin bout
spennin. Six yers yuh lottries ony yiel twelve dolluhs.
Munts yo exsize set ain budge since at arn wheel
slid crack yuh big toe. You speck cobbluh son
go thout shoes even wit his big apple orchit!”
Swer mah wife star spectuhratin ah git so
confuse take mysef onnuh fron step. Thew thuh
screen Del mumblin. “He whan he kin bat roun
in stain ovalls en shir mo wrinkle den Methuslum.
Evry chippy in pedal pushuhs en pumps wavin raffles,
Herl gottuh buy five. Budjit so much his concern,
less scout yuh so call ‘loans’ at triflin fren Gizmo
hol job no longuh den sneezes. Was me, woulduh
drop-kick his butt yers . . .”
Ahm thinkin hot hot damn! Wonduh who sell mouf
fixtive? Giff wrap gallon at deah boy nex Valintahm Day.
Charles H. Lynch was born in Baltimore, Maryland and lives in Brooklyn, New York. A Cave Canem Fellow, he uses a variety of voicings, including a didactic formality; conversational exchange; African American urban vernacular; and terse imagistic "pares." His unpublished memoir, Hawker of Rough-Edged Silhouettes, portrays one teenage year in Baltimore and West Cape May, New Jersey. Lynch’s poems have recently appeared in PLUCK!: The Journal of Afrilachian Arts & Culture, The Avenue, The Indianapolis Review, The Journal of Baha'i Studies, and Blue House Journal.