My Heart Monitor Yells at Me Whenever I Try to Run Now

The mirror flaunts the fault lines of my illness  
Pulls pink magma through peach skin 

Blooms a red tide across my chest  

Salmon-coloured, the doctor called it  
A salmon-coloured rash, like it was 
Beautiful 

A pink shock of Sockeye – 
Running in clear cold water 

Running upstream  
Half-true 

My spirit slips, it’s 

Silvery numb 

I knew a girl with a salmon tattoo 
She’s dating my ex 
But she’s so pretty and probably her salmon stands for
Something else 

Lately I’ve been 
Looking into the river’s broken surface 

Wanting something it seems to offer 

I whisper to it, when I think no one can hear 

Fingers brushing  
At the too-conspicuous blush over my heart

Hannah Siden is a writer and filmmaker living on the unceded territories of the Musqueam, Squamish, and Tsleil-Waututh Nations (Vancouver, BC). Follow her on Twitter: @hannah_siden

Artwork by Damaris Swass