I put on my spectacles last Thursday night
To go to the Sex Club.
I fed the cat, boiled some water for tea, watered my succulents, and then
Drove fifteen minutes to Joanne’s.
I brought brownies because I knew Beatrice
Was allergic to chocolate.
Donald was wearing the jeans that showed off
His butt. His shirt said, “Meet Me At The Sex Club.”
Mimi the president insisted on selling
The Sex Club shirt
For twenty-five dollars even though I said we should go for twenty.
And now only three people have bought it and we still do not
Have enough money for our annual luncheon.
We sat in a circle on foldable chairs with notes on today’s topic,
“Female pleasure and equality.” Bob had recommended
A book during last week’s meeting and
No one bothered to read it because what does Bob know.
Rajni volunteered to lead the discussion because she and her
Husband Raj went to some sex camp up in New Hampshire
And now she knows everything. As everyone except Beatrice
Nibbled on the brownies, Bruce crossed his arms.
I’ll start by saying that the neck is a very important erogenous zone.
Joanne objected and said he was being presumptuous.
Ever since I got caught in a house fire as a child my skin
Never really recovered. She pulled down her
Turtleneck and everyone gasped.
She started sobbing. Deep in thought, Bob said,
This is why fireproofing your house is important.
Everyone nodded. When it was time
To go home Donald asked what I would be doing
Tonight. I twirled a curl in my hair.
He went beetroot and asked if I wanted
To come see his plants. We can have some tea.
It was then that I remembered I did not turn off my kettle.
And that was how my house went
Down in flames last Thursday,
And how I came to be living in Donald’s guest room.
His succulent is pretty neat.
Artwork by Marcel Dzama “On a Revolution”